TrueLife

17 Habits of Very Happy Moms

Happy Habits

1. Ask for help Happy mothers are not afraid to ask for help from family and friends. While morose, martyred moms miss those out-of-town weekends and movie nights with their husband because they can't find a babysitter or a willing relative, Very Happy Moms just say, "Please." 2. Leave the house -- now Have you been outside today? Fresh air, sunlight, and nature are believed to be critical mood enhancers for women, and moms can get this little lift while pushing strollers or swings. Look around that playground. Who looks happy? Go talk to her, right now. 3. Plan some big fun In my research, I've found that VHMs work really hard to find time and money for vacations. Take away the alarm clocks, the homework, the deadlines...bring on the sunsets, the sand castles, the card games. Suddenly you remember why you spend so much time doing these people's laundry. 4. Get your groove on You call him "honey," and he calls you "sugar" -- but are you giving each other enough sweetness? Happy moms like getting busy. It'll put a smile on your face. And it's nice to have a Very Happy Husband hanging around. 5. Eat, sleep, and be merry Being sleep-deprived may be a badge of honor for those with young babies, but the sooner you can figure out how to get your eight hours back, the more delirious with joy you will be. Follow that well-deserved rest with a bowl of oatmeal and a banana instead of three cups of coffee and the remains of somebody's Pop-Tart, and see what happens. 6. Have a six-pack I thought the main habit of Very Happy Moms might be popping Prozac, but I asked around and not a single happy mother mentioned drugs. Not even margaritas. Sigh. What they did mention, in droves, was exercise. And of course they're right: Just about equal to how good regular exercise makes us feel is how insidiously the gloom creeps in when we weasel out of it. Fortunately, to a mom, exercise can feel almost self-indulgent -- after all, you're doing something for yourself, in the company of other grown-ups. And that's part of the buzz. 7. One is not the loneliest number Carving out time away from the kids is crucial, whether it's poker night with the girls or just a long bath with a magazine. 8. Be nice to thy neighbor You would think that moms would be tapped out in the giving department. But most happy moms make doing things for others a regular part of their lives, whether it's baking a lasagna for a family with a new baby or offering a ride to an elderly friend. Remember: Your helpfulness is another deposit in the karma bank. 9. Love the one you're with The happiest moms don't compare and compete. Neither they, nor their kids, nor their cars, nor their houses have to be the smartest, cutest, newest, or neatest. The green-eyed monster has chewed up the happiness of many a mom. Around A.D. 89 the philosopher Epictetus offered advice for Very Happy Moms: To be content is greater than riches, so love what you have. 10. Hang with your gal pals Very Happy Moms have close mom friends. Knowing that others are in the trenches with you is key. From the super-petty issues to the deadly serious crises, I don't know how I would have made it without my friend Theresa. Over the years, she has patiently listened to long stories involving extremely important topics, such as Pull-Ups, car pools, and her favorite: the vice principal of the middle school. 11. Plan a little fun Very Happy Moms sometimes buy themselves flowers, just in case no one else has thought of it. They meet their husbands for lunch, get a facial, or have the car detailed just because. 12. Play with the rules One of the best things about being the person who makes the rules is bending them. With each of my kids, I allow certain treats that have a slightly wicked feel. With my 4-year-old daughter, it's taking a bubble bath with our miniature dachshund. With my teenage son, it's stopping for really expensive sushi on the way home from a doctor's appointment. Very Happy Moms know when to turn the mundane into magic. 13. Pick and choose Separate the siblings and enjoy some one-on-one time with each kid. No interrupting, no juggling, no sibling rivalry. What joy! 14. Look ahead When your happy buzz threatens to slip away altogether, remind yourself that "This too shall pass." It works both ways: Either you get through the terrible stuff by knowing it's not forever, or you put it into perspective by reminding yourself that the good stuff -- the sticky kisses, the cute little tutus -- will also soon be gone. 15. Forgive and forget We all want to live up to our parenting ideals and do everything right all the time, and here we are, losing our tempers, being inconsistent, and bribing kids with candy on a daily basis. Unfortunately, all the time you spend brooding and punishing yourself for this is more time when your best self is not there for your kids. Very Happy Moms know that even the best of us have days from hell. They let those days go, and get on with exercising and vacation planning. 16. Pee in your pants laughing Kids love to see their moms smile (mine actually comment on it, if that tells you anything), and research is starting to show that just crinkling your eyes, turning up the corners of your mouth, and laughing can produce the happy brain chemical serotonin. At least it will make you look really ridiculous, which will make your kids laugh. And laughing really hard with your kids is one of the best Very Happy Mom secrets of all. 17. Cuddle up Though I consider myself a Somewhat Cranky Mom, I share this with the Very Happy Moms I surveyed: I have a hug habit. "Hugs and snugs and snoodles" is how my 4-year-old, Jane, and I refer to our smooching sessions. Happy moms cuddle their kids every chance they get, which is smart since those chances diminish through grade school and then disappear altogether by the time your former cuddler gets her driver's license. So take Janis Joplin's parenting advice: Get it while you can.

This is my last week in my dental assistant class. I am going to miss my classmates!!!

Caring for your baby's allergies

           

                   How can I tell if my baby has

                  allergies just a cold?

It can be tough to tell the difference between a cold and allergies in babies, but there are some telltale signs. If it seems as if your baby always has a cold, there's a good chance he actually has nasal allergies (also known as allergic rhinitis). Colds usually wind themselves down in a week to ten days. Allergies don't. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your baby's nose always stuffy or running?

• Is he constantly wiggling, wiping, or pushing his nose (doctors call this the allergic salute)?

• Is the mucus that drains from his nose clear and thin (as opposed to yellow or greenish and thick)?

• Does he seem to sneeze a lot?

• Are his eyes itchy, red, and watery?

• Does the skin under his eyes look dark or purple or blue (doctors call these allergic shiners)?

• Does your baby breathe through his mouth?

• Does your baby have a dry cough?

• Does he have irritated skin or an itchy red rash?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, there's a good chance your baby is allergic to something in his environment. Children with nasal allergies are also more prone to ear infections and asthma.

What causes allergies?

An allergy is a physical reaction to a substance in the environment. When a child with allergies comes into contact with one of these substances, known as an allergen, either by touching it, breathing it, eating it, or having it injected, his body views it as a dangerous invader and releases histamines and other chemicals to fight it off. The most common allergens in babies are these:

• Dust mites — microscopic organisms that thrive on human skin flakes

• Animal dander — those white flaky specks on cats, dogs, and other furry animals

• Molds — fungi found in wet, damp places such as bathrooms and basements

Some children may be allergic to down and feather pillows, chenille or wool blankets, and horsehair (sometimes used in mattresses). Most experts don't think children can be allergic to tobacco smoke, but it can certainly aggravate their allergic symptoms.

Common symptoms of nasal allergies include runny nose, sore throat, watery eyes, and itchy rashes. They're the result of histamines causing swelling and excessive mucus production. (Most food allergies have different symptoms.)

The tendency to be allergic is often inherited. If you or your partner has allergies, your baby has a 30 percent chance of developing them too. If you both have allergies, that probability jumps to 60 percent, though your child may not develop the same ones you have. Family members may differ widely in the kinds of things they're allergic to.

It can also take time for an allergy to develop. Each allergic person has a threshold that must be met before an allergy causes a reaction. For instance, if your baby inherited the tendency to be allergic to cat dander, he may have no trouble at all for the first few months he's around Fluffy. But then one day when the exposure level reaches his breaking point (doctors say this takes about six months), his body will react and mount an offense against it.

"Because it takes at least six months of regular exposure to an allergen for a child to develop a reaction to it, allergies in babies are not as common as people think," says José Carro, an allergist and immunologist at Miami Children's Hospital. But some children will have a reduced reaction called an allergic sensitivity at a young age, he explains, especially if they have house pets or are allergic to dust mites, which are common in almost every home. Seasonal allergies to things such as pollen and grass, on the other hand, usually don't rear their ugly (and stuffy) head until the late toddler years.

How can I figure out what my baby is allergic to?

• It takes some careful detective work and sometimes the help of medical tests to pinpoint the exact cause of an allergy. One clue may be when the allergy attacks occur. Mold allergies usually develop during rainy or damp weather and can be hard to distinguish from colds. Dust mites or pet allergies often cause morning congestion that lasts all year long. Pollen-related allergies are more common in spring and fall.
  
  If you have a strong suspicion that your baby is allergic to something in particular, try to keep the offender away for a few days. If Fido seems like a good candidate, send him on a short vacation to a friend's house or the kennel. If you're leaning toward dust mites as the culprit, clean your baby's room thoroughly (see below for ideas on how to keep dust mites at bay). If your baby's symptoms calm down after these experiments, you've probably identified the problem.
  
  If your own sleuthing doesn't pan out, it's time to see your pediatrician. She'll examine your baby and ask lots of questions. If she believes the problem is allergies, she may refer you directly to an allergic specialist or she may likely suggest a blood test. Blood tests, however, have high false negative rates, meaning the test may come back indicating your baby doesn't have an allergy when, in fact, he does. If the blood test does suggest an allergy, the next step for your little sniffler is a skin test. You'll need to see an allergist for that.
  
  During a skin test, an allergist will apply small amounts of common allergens onto your baby's skin to see how it reacts. Unfortunately, the false negative rate is also fairly high with skin tests done on children under 18 months. That's because a baby's skin isn't fully mature (which can skew a test toward the negative) or the suspected allergy isn't fully developed at the time of testing. "I always warn the parents of my patients that a negative skin test is only predictive of the allergy at that moment in time, but it doesn't guarantee that a child won't develop allergies at a later time," says Carro. "Any child who has persistent allergy symptoms or symptoms that get worse should be reevaluated in six to 12 months."
  
  How are allergies treated in babies?
  The most important thing you can do is reduce your baby's exposure to the allergen. Here are the best ways to do that for the most common allergens:
  
  Dust mites
  The following steps may seem like a lot of work, but the end result is significant. "I have patients who have up to a 90 percent improvement in symptoms from elimination of exposure to dust mites in the bedroom," says Carro.

• Encase your baby's crib mattress and pillow in an impenetrable cover made of vinyl or a similar material. (You can find these kinds of covers at allergy supply stores.)

• Wash bedding once a week in hot water (over 140 degrees Fahrenheit) to kill dust mites.

• Avoid piling up stuffed animals in your baby's room — they're dust mite magnets. The few favorites your baby can't live without should be washed weekly or stuck in the freezer for an overnight chill (the cold air will kill the mites).

• Dust and vacuum on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, but make sure your baby isn't in the room when you do it. The action of dusting and vacuuming can stir up residual dust mite particles in the room. Wet mopping can help prevent this.

• Consider investing in a vacuum cleaner with a HEPA (high efficiency particulate arresting) filter, which traps even microscopic particles that pass right through ordinary vacuum cleaners.

• If the room is carpeted, consider tearing up the carpet and replacing it with a smooth floor.

• Install filters on furnace and air-conditioner vents and replace them annually. Have heating ducts cleaned each fall and clean the filter once a month during the winter.

Pet dander
If your baby is allergic to a pet, the only foolproof solution is to give the animal away. That's not an easy decision to make, of course, and you should consider it only as a last resort. To keep the dander down, wash your pet frequently (you can find shampoos that reduce dander in the pet store), and keep your pet out of your baby's room at all times.

Molds
Use a dehumidifier and air conditioner when the weather is warm and moist, especially in wet basements or other areas of your home where mold growth is a problem. If your bathroom is a mold factory, clean it regularly with mold-inhibiting disinfectants (a little bleach and water solution usually does the trick), and consider investing in an upgraded ventilation system. Mold can often be found growing in closets, attics, cellars, planters, refrigerators, shower stalls, garbage cans, and under carpets.

Are there any medications that can help my baby?

Yes, but don't give him any over-the-counter allergy medicine without talking to your doctor first. She'll likely suggest antihistamines and decongestants, and possibly offer you a prescription. Many of the newer allergy medicines have fewer side effects than other products on the market. (These medications are not approved for children under age 2, but your pediatrician may prescribe them at a reduced dose for your baby if she feels they're warranted.) "I believe children should be treated any time allergy symptoms interfere with their or their family's lifestyle," says Carro.

What can I do to prevent my baby from getting allergies in the first place?

Keeping your baby away from all possible allergens is the best prevention possible, but within reason. "It is unfair to deprive children of a lifestyle that everyone enjoys just to prevent a disease that may not show up in the first place," says Carro. So don't get rid of Fluffy or Fido just because you're afraid your baby may develop an allergy to cat or dog dander. However, since allergies are inherited, if you and your spouse are allergic to house pets, you may want to delay getting one until your baby is older.

Since one of the most common allergens is dust mites — nearly 85 percent of allergy sufferers are allergic to them — make sure you're diligent about reducing your baby's exposure. Dust mites live in fabrics and carpets and are common in every room of the house. But most babies receive their greatest exposure in the bedroom, where mattresses and pillows are veritable dust mite condominiums. (Some estimate that 10 percent of the weight of a six-year-old pillow is dust mite carcasses and fecal matter.) Follow the tips above to keep your baby's bedroom an allergen-free zone.

Canoeing Day!

We are getting ready to row our canoe Samantha is very excited!

Why Pre-schooler Whine

Why preschoolers whine
Your preschooler relies on adults for almost everything — food, drink, love, toys, transportation, you name it. He has to get an adult's attention to obtain the things he needs, and that can be a challenge. A whine is the sound of a child who feels powerless and is pitching his request in higher and higher tones to get someone to pay attention to him. "Children do what works, and a whiner is looking for a response — any response," says Jane Nelsen, co-author of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. So if a positive response isn't forthcoming, a negative one will do just fine.

What to do about whining      Define it. Before you pin on your No Whining button and draw a line in the sand, make sure your preschooler knows what you're talking about. Adults often assume that children know what whining is and realize how awful it sounds — but that's not necessarily the case. Label whining when you hear it, and ask your child to use his regular voice instead. If he has trouble hearing the difference, demonstrate it for him. Use dolls to play-act an exchange between a whiny child and his exasperated parent (or dust off your thespian skills to do a role-playing exercise with your preschooler). Explain that whining sounds annoying and makes people stop listening. Practice "good" and "not so good" voices together — hearing you at your whiniest will probably elicit a good laugh from your preschooler.

Acknowledge your child's need for attention. Preschoolers sometimes resort to whining when they've tried and failed to get their parent's ear. That's why you'll often hear it when you're trying to talk with a friend, balance your checkbook, or keep track of where you are in a recipe. In short, any time you're focusing on something else and your preschooler needs (or thinks he needs) your help is prime time for whining.

Whenever your child asks for something in a pleasant way, try to respond to him as immediately as you can. Of course, you don't want to encourage your preschooler to "need" you every time you strike up a conversation with someone, so make sure you explain this to him. "If it's really important, politely interrupt me, without whining, and I won't put you off. But if you can wait, then please do!" If you're in the middle of something, take a second to acknowledge his need, give him a ballpark estimate for when you'll respond ("Honey, I know you need help with your puzzle; hang on for two minutes and I'll sit down and tackle it with you"), and follow through. Make sure the wait is a realistic length: You can expect your preschooler to be patient for as many minutes as he is old (three minutes if he's 3, for instance). Don't just say "later," which is vague, at best. And be sure to praise him for waiting when he does.

Show him a better way to address the problem. Sometimes kids whine because they can't express their feelings, so help your preschooler identify his when you can. You might say to him, for instance, "I can see that you're upset. Is it because I can't take you to the park right now?" This will help you get a conversation going.

Be sure to carve out regular time to read a story together, play a game, or just talk — without your preschooler having to complain first. Thank him when he remembers to ask nicely, too. When he sees that other methods of voicing his needs produce results — and that whining doesn't — the whines will taper off.

Avoid triggers. Kids often get cranky and whiny when they're hungry or tired. Taking a hungry preschooler grocery shopping before dinner and expecting him to understand that cookies will spoil his appetite is like putting a new trampoline in the kitchen and expecting him not to jump on it until the soufflß is done: It's a foolproof recipe for disaster. Feed him before you go, or pack some healthy snacks he can eat on the way or in the store. Likewise, life will be easier for both of you if you can avoid dragging him on errands — or even to the zoo, for that matter — at the end of a long day.

Respond consistently. Whether or not his demand is reasonable, it's important to let your preschooler know that his way of asking just won't cut it. Say something like, "I can't understand you when you talk like that. Please use your normal voice and I'll be happy to listen to what you're saying." Keep your tone and facial expression neutral (letting yourself get riled will only feed the fire). Some preschoolers respond better to visual cues; try holding your hands over your ears and squinting your eyes in mock pain to signal that you hear whining (cup your ears and smile serenely when you don't). Most importantly, keep saying or doing the same thing, and don't give in. "Picture yourself as a Las Vegas slot machine," says veteran mom Lisa Levi. "Your child pulls the lever and pulls the lever again. One win — even after 12 losses — will show him that a slot machine is a good bet for making money, and that's not what you want him to learn."

As important as responding consistently to a whine is acknowledging a switch: When your child does use his normal voice, respond to him immediately so he learns that this works. Don't feel obligated to give him what he wants because he asks without whining, though. Just be empathetic and appreciative. "I'm sorry that you can't play now, but it's time for bed. Thanks for asking so nicely!"

Be — or at least pretend to be — nonchalant when the whining goes into overdrive. The last thing you want your preschooler to learn is that whining in public is a good way to get what he wants, so stick to your principles. No matter where you are, whom you're with, or what kind of tone your preschooler uses, keep your cool. Don't blow up or give in ("Oh, go ahead, do whatever you want!"). Even if it gets you immediate relief from that annoying whine, you'll pay in the long run by hearing more and more of it.

"Travel Site where you can buy tickets"

My hubby likes me to advertise his Travel site so please feel free to visit and browse for your tickets here  http://www.greens2beaches.globaltravel.com

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is PATIENT,love is KIND. It does not envy,it does not boast,it does not proud.It is not RUDE,it is not self-seeking,it is NOT EASILY ANGERED,it keeps no records of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil,but rejoices with truth. It always protects,always trust,always hopes,always perseveres.Love never fails.  (1 CORINTHIANS 13:4)

I hope everyone of us always remember what is the real meaning of love. We should know our words before saying it if it could  benefits to others or just distroy their spirit. Show our love in gentle ways. Take care friends and have a wonderful week!

(joke) SULAT

Minamahal kong anak,

Medyo mabagal akong mag-type ngayon dahil alam
kong mabagal kang magbasa.
Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang
bagong bili na bahay. Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo
ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang
number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng
address.

Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila.
Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito,
tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong
pangalawa.

Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nung
nabili ko na shampoo, ayaw bumula. Nakasulat
FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasa ang buhok
ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa
tindahan at magrereklamo ako.

Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok
sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock.
Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, eh aba namalat na ako sa
kasisigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas.
Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala
nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE,
wise yata ito!

Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang
jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko
na sa iyo sa dahil medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat
ang mga botones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal
ko na lang ang mga botones at inilagay ko na lang
sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating
diyan.

Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta
ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na
maging anonymous donor.

Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na
dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao na under sa
kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa
memorial park,okey naman ang kita above minimum
ang sahod. Nakapanganak na rin palaang ate baby
mo, hindi ko pa alam kung babae o lalake kaya hindi
ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong uncle or
auntie.

Isa pa nga pala, babalik ako diyan sa Oktubre pero
naguguluhan ako. Di ba yung Victory Liner, BLTB
Liner, Pascual Liner at Alfonso Liner ay mga
pampasaherong bus. Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba
yun? Saan ba ang Terminal nila?

At saka nga pala, me nag-interview sa akin diyan
at nakalimutan kong banggitin sa iyo taga
Magandang Umaga Bayan daw siya at nakunan
ako sa TV
ang tanong sa akin ay ano raw sa salitang english
ang Kulangot. Di ko nasagot... ikaw anak, alam mo?

Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na
lang ng madalas ha.

Love,
Tatay

P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay
naisara ko na ang envelope.
Next time na lang ha.

VERY BEST TODDLER

Build a Perfect Diet

What two-year-olds should be eating—and how much

Given the chance, two-year-old Maris would eat macaroni and cheese for most meals. You can probably guess what happens when her mother, Amy Cohen, a marketing manager in Dallas, offers her fruits and vegetables. "Her typical response is an instant 'I don't like that,'" reports Cohen, who worries that her slender daughter isn't getting enough calories or balance in her diet.

The eating habits of the typical two-year-old can be confusing for parents. At 24 months, a child's appetite may spike and then fall off. He'll consume one food day after day, then suddenly turn up his nose at it. "If my son, Amiri, decides he likes something, I assume he'll always want to eat it," says Sheree Thompson, a writer in Los Angeles. In fact, Amiri continually changes his mind, so she resorts to trickery—hiding vegetables under the cheese of homemade pizzas, for example. Another tactic: You can try grinding up veggies and camouflaging them in meat loaf.

All of this is exasperating, but it's not necessarily anything to worry about. If your two-year-old is active and growing at a rate of about a pound every three months, you probably have no cause for concern, says Dr. Vincent Iannelli, a Dallas pediatrician who's the dad of two-year-old twin boys.

Getting it Right

"The ideal diet for a two-year-old is similar to that for a healthy adult," says Peggy O'Shea, a dietitian in Brookline, Mass. "Toddlers need enough energy and protein—drawn from all food groups—to grow normally."

To help you figure out what you should feed your child, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) has developed a Food Guide Pyramid for kids ages two to six (check www.usda.gov for updates). Six daily servings of grains, preferably whole grains, make up the pyramid's base; three portions of vegetables and two of fruit form the next tier; and two servings of milk and two servings of a high-quality protein, such as meat, poultry, legumes or tofu constitute the next level. The pyramid is topped by sweets and fats, which should be occasional add-ons.

A child's serving is approximately one-quarter of an adult portion—or about two tablespoons for all food categories except milk, says O'Shea. "Toddlers should drink two cups of milk for a total of 16 ounces daily," she says. "It's an important source of protein and calcium." At 24 months, however, most children switch from whole milk, which has the extra fat needed for early brain development, to 1% or 2%. Check with your doctor to see if that change is appropriate for your child.

Healthy Options

Busy parents often resort to popular prepared foods, such as chicken nuggets or fish sticks. However, because they are usually fried, they pile on fat and calories. Instead, oven-bake these items or, better yet, modify your own fresh-cooked meals for your little one. Chop or puree the veggies; cut the meat into bite-size pieces and remove (or avoid cooking with) sauces.

Obesity Concerns

About 10% of American children ages two to five are overweight, and another 10% are at risk. As a result, some parents wonder if they should restrict their child's diet. No, says Iannelli. The best way to help a youngster maintain a healthy weight is to stress healthy foods, few sweets and plenty of exercise.

Stay the Course

With perseverance and understanding, you'll expand your child's food repertory. And don't worry if he hasn't consumed the recommended servings for every food group in a given day. Instead, focus on the balance over the course of a week or even a month.

Getting Your Toddler To Listen

Toddlers are just like the rest of us-they don't listen. In fact,at their age they need you to teach them how to pay attention."But what often happens, is that parents say something 10 times,then they start counting down to punishment.What does is actually condition the child not to listen until the tenth time.

By not listening your child is getting your attention(tho constant nagging isn't the best form of it.) But being a good lestiner helpsyour childlearn more effectively,heed danger signals,get along better with you and her teachers and other adults she/he will be be expected to respect,and make better friends.There are many simple strategies that,when consistentlyfollowed,will teach toddlers the skills they need to become good lestiners.And,it is never too early to begin teaching your child. A toddler may notlisten as well as 5-year-old,but still has lots of there skills.

GET ON HER LEVEL

As every parent realizes sooner or later, bellowing from a great height(much less from the other room)rarely has desired effect,Squat down or pick your child up,so you can look her in the eye and grab her attention.She/he 'll listen much more closely if you sit down next to her at the breakfast table when reminding her/his to eat up her/his cornfalkes,or perch on her bed at night when telling her/his you're about to turn out the light.

BE CLEAR

State your message clearly,simply and authoritatively.Your child will zone out if you harp on a topic too long. It's hard to find the point of a wordy message such as "It's really cold outside,and you've been sick lately,so I want you to put on your sweater before we go to the store."On the other hand,"It's time to get your sweater" is unmistakable.And don't phrase something as a question if your child does not actually have a choice." It's time to climb into your car seat" has a lot more impact than"Come climb into your car seat,okay,honey?"

REINFORCE YOUR MESSAGE

It often helps to follow up your statement with a number of other kinds of messages,especially if you are trying to pull your child away from an absorbing activity.Say "Time for bed!" and then give a visual cue(flicking the light switch on and off)",a physical cue(laying a hand on her shoulder to gently pull her attention away her doll toward you)'and demonstration(steering her toward her bed,pulling down the covers,and patting the pillow).

GIVE WARNINGS

Give your child some advance notice before a big change will take palce,especially if she/his 's happily involved with toys or a friend.Before you're ready to leave the house,tell her/him,"We're going to leave in a few minutes.When I call you,it's time to come out of the sandbox and wash your hands."

GIVE REALISTIC INSTRUCTIONS

"If you tell a 2-year-old to put his/her toys away,he/she looks around the room and says,'sheeesssh!" Give him/her realistic tasks,'Let's put the yellow blocks away.' Then you can make it into play; Good,now let's put blue blocks away."

MOTIVATE

Yelling orders may produce results(in some children),but no one will enjoy the process.Most children respond best when you treat them with confident good humor.For example,occasionally use silly voice or song to deliver your message.You might sing"Now it's time to brush your teeth"to the tune of"London bridge,"for example. Stress the benefits of complying over mere dutifulness("Brush you teeth and then you can pick out your favorate nightgown"instead of"You have to brush your teeth or you'll get cavities"or"Brush your teeth NOW!"). Praise her'him when finishes brushing,with"Good listening!"

The good humor,affection,and trust you demonstrate to your child when speaking to her/him this way will make her want to listen to you,because she/he 'll know that you love him/her and think they are special. This is an important aspect of even those strategies that require firmness.Giving straightforward,authoritative instruction does not mean you have to be crabby--such messages are much more powerful when accompanied buy a hug or a smile.Then your child learns that paying attention to you is worthwhile.

MODEL GOOD BEHAVIOR

Preschooler will be better listeners if they see that you are a good listener,too.Make it a habit to listen to your child as respectfully as you would to any adult.Look at her/him when she/he talks to you,respond politely,and let her finish without interrupting whenever possible.While it may seem like a tall order when you're cooking dinner and your toddler is being especially chatty,try not to walk away from him/her or turn your back on her while she's talking.As with so many other behaviors,the old saw"Do as I say,not as I do"has no value when teaching children to listen.